what's so bazaar?

got back from the bazaar. first time i went. grabe! ang saya! well, not fun for my pockets, but all the same, i got to hang out with my friends and sell them ate jing's accessories and stuff. but the concept of having to spend almot all your money in 1 day because there're so many temptations is so ludicrous!!! who da hell came up with that idea??? whatever.

we belong together & shake it off - mariah carey

i'm actually writing this way past the date on it. it's really october 18, tuesday morning around 1:50am... i'm really just still waking up, after being woken up earlier... no complaints here. still trying to adjust to my new time since janice & i swapped schedules for the week and i'll probably catch 24 friday afternoon. fuck.

well, mostly i'm feeling crap coz someone who's usually called everyday hasn't and i'm freaking out because i think i miss the person... hmm... also, i still have to take care of a couple of things... like enrolling to another freakin' school (ok, yah, i'm forced into this one, as always)!!!!!!! an even bigger fuck.

anyway, i'll just log back in when i'm in more high spirits. and dang, i'm so craving for a blueberry cheesecake!!!!!!

today

collide - howie day
we belong together remix - mariah carey
suspicious minds - no doubt
23 - jimmy eat world

oh my gosh! day off at last! woohoo! movie marathon night! hehe! i saw gangs of new york last sunday and the other day (or was it yesterday?) the wedding date...

the first was really awesome. well, it wasn't the heart-pounding suspense and epicly dramatic kind of leo movie that i liked, but it had a kick-ass ending and that was enoughÜ it was kinda boring on some points, but it survives. the beginning was a bit dragging, especially if you know how it's gonna turn out. i actually read an alternate ending to it maybe a few months after it was released, and it had amsterdam dying and being buried in the cemetery. but they obviously changed that. the love, or should i say sex scenes were cute. but they didn't really have the spark or chemistry like other couples do... (hint: it's the last movie i'm gonna critique) 3 out of 5 stars.

the wedding date was interesting. dermot mulroney was naked most of the time and he has a cute butt ;) but aside from the nakedness and cutsie scenes, it was bland really, with a predictable ending. trying hard to be a four weddings and a funeral with edge but falling by the wayside.

resident evil i saw yesterday (sept. 22) and it was gross. but the way it was shot, it caught me. the first few scenes i'm like alice, dazed and confused. but eventually i got the plot and i was actually sad when michelle rodriguez turned into a fucking zombie... never played the game, didn't even know the movie was based on one, but i liked the film a lot. like any other film i watch, i add it to my imdb list and check the trivia if they have some. nice site, that one, go check it out: www.imdb.com

i know that it has a sequel and i wanna get my hands on it coz the ending of the first one is the trailer i saw for the 2nd one and it kinda intrigues me how the hell the virus? got out. was it adam? why is milla jovovich covered with only that paper thing dentists use when checking up a patient?

and now the movie i am so in love with right now: the notebook. SIGH! i haven't read the book, but if it's nicholas sparks, you know it'll be a cryfest. the development of the story is really good. the arcs of the characters were done well. the love story was really well done. well-written. my favorite scene was when noah was trying to convince allie to stay with him and not get married. that was something. and the love scenes were really special. i love that they have a "trademark kiss": allie wraps her legs around noah's waist while standing. that's so sweet!!!! and the actors, ryan gosling and rachel mcadams even recreated it at the mtv movie awards when they won best kiss. SIGH! my favorite moment!!!

bad week

shiver - natalie imbruglia

based on my off days, i can tell it's not gonna be my week. bwiset! kung kelan pa nagstart 24 don pa naging sun and mon off ko! now i'll be forced to wake up friday afternoon just to watch the 3rd and 4th episodes which i'll miss because i have work on thur. fuck.

but consolation is kiefer also had his hair cut ------------>

he looks even hotter!!! bagay sobra!Ü

i don't have money anymore, barely enough to get through the week... plus, 2 or 3,000 of my salary's already going somewhere so it's just gonna spend some time in my wallet and be gone like that. so much for saving!

money, money, money. why is it such a big freaking problem??? i hate money sometimes!

suspicious minds - no doubt

i love this version so much! i saw them perform it on a tribute to elvis show on cable and it was fantasticÜ i later heard it in a scene in black hawk down... the no doubt version is cute coz they made it their own. what with the trumpets and everything. love it!

my dog is still sick, but is doing ok. i think he ate or drank something that made him sick. but now i'm medicating him and he's eating (a little) but drinking and is alert and happy when he gets out. i have to get him out more often, i only walk him every morning when i get home from work... now he's sleeping. i'm trying to get him to wear an army hat and photgraph him, but he doesn't like it =( but i think he looks cute in it. i'll get it one dayÜ

as usual, i have to write my other thoughts in my private journal. so, tata for now girls and boys! cheers!

big fishÜ

another one of tim burton's greatest moviesÜ it's so funny that it's only now that i get to apprecite his work... and it's weird that he's actually working with more color now, but still the "darkness", which is his trademark, is still there. amazing, really.

fave scenes were unexpectedy "quiet" scenes: the tub scene, that really made me cry; then the ending of course... when young edward went to sandra's school the first time and screamed and then the daffodils... sigh! ewan mcgregor is so cute! hot! sexy! perfect as edward.

the whole thing about a man's life and how he told tall tales and how they worked as metaphors sometimes but turned out to be true stuff, was really cool. i never once got bored with it. the story telling was seamless. it was a great combination of reality and fiction and fairytale and the punchlines were cute.

just saw the trailers for the exorcism of emily (fucking scary) and another ewan movie, stay... which is a scary movie also. shet. gusto ko panoorin pareho!Ü

thief

did your mother ever steal money from you? mine just did. i know had 270 in my wallet, and when i got thw money out to pay for delivery, 200 bucks were gone. wow. galeng.

no one else was in the room. she watched tv and i could see everything that was happening, but i guess it was when i was talking to jesse on the phone... speechless ako.

under pressure

23 - jimmy eat world

i can feel it building... good news last night was when i got 30/30 calls perfect!!!! too bad it wasn't good enough coz last month, i got 3 mistakes so i haven't been certified yet... 32.8 pa acht ko eh passing was 32.5 PRESSURE!!!! gosh! kakatakot! swerte ko lang kse sun i have work so kme mga unang na-rerecord eh puro transfer pa un... grabe....

heavenly sound? my dog drinking/slurping waterÜ super cute!!!! i took him for a walk again and now he's sleeping under my chair... sigh...

elsewhere - bethany joy lenz
loverboy - mariah carey

sarap! 3-day rest for me! nothing to freakin' eat here, damn! wawa naman doggie ko... will watch phonebooth at noon... hay sarap! pahinga rin sa wakas!

new hairÜ

everybody's changing - keane

i've never been happier! i finally had my hair cut and it's fantastic!!!!!!!!!! it's a really cute version of this hairstyle:

re-offender - travis; the first cut is the deepest - sheryl crow

i was really scared at first, and also because the magazines i was reading were featuring women who had long hair and i thought it was gonna turn out as a really bad cut; like totally NOT what you envisioned it to be... but i was dead wrong! the guy, roland, he was fantastic!!!!!!! highly recommended to those living in the don antonio area, go to david's and ask for roland, galing sya!ÜÜÜ

lie in the sound - trespassers william

was re-watching black hawk down... having problems with the tv, it won't start when i press the power button on the remote. fuck wag naman ngayon!!!!!!! 24 is showing next week on axn!!!!!! i'm SOOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!!!

thinking of putting highlights in my hair para ok naman... or bka cellophane or something. basta ayoko ng white hair! sobrang peeve ko yon, i dunno why... i have a thing with getting older, i guess. always have. next year, when i turn 24, i'm gonna get a tattoo on my arm like the 24 symbol on the show ;) can't wait!!!

the good kind - the wreckers

looking up tom (thomas) guiry in imdb and i thought i'd seen him before! while i was watching b.h.d., he seemed kinda familiar, so i looked him up in mystic river, and lo and behold, his credits include b.h.d.! am i good or what? ;) ...watched a trailer for four brothers and i have to say i kinda want to watch it. had/have a long-time crush on mark wahlberg ;) he's so cute!!! so is his brother, donnie wahlberg (loved him in band of brothers); love the way they talk! that boston accent is really hot!

kill - jimmy eat world

i'm beginning to REALLY love jimmy eat world... they have kill and this other song, 23 which is really my favorite of theirs. that one is so epic; sweeps you, you know? and when they were featured in oth for a full episode, that was awesome! they're like u2... they have different songs, but they keep their identity and dignity as a group/band intact. that's important i think when you're a band, especially a rock band.

when the stars go blue - bethany joy lenz & tyler hilton

can't wait to go to work tomorrow to show off my new hair. i have to get film so we can document it thoughÜ hehe! c ya!!!!

true blog

what'd i say - ray charles

i really was supposed to put in how happy i am i'm getting an eday next week on thursday: the start of the 3rd season of 24, baby, yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh! walang katapusang trade toh pag hindi thurs ang off ko!!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!! pero shit worth it namanÜ can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hay nako

sometimes what you think is good becomes a liability... something sometimes you wanna get rid of... i plan on getting my hair cut today; found a hairstyle on charisma carpenter that i kinda like. but i don't want it to be super short. the article said she picked it off of christy turlington, so now i'm finding the same hairstyle on christy on the internet!

i also have to bring my dog to the vet for a possible xray and then drop some shit (literally) to the medical exam at work... hay nako talaga! bwiset! tapos ngayon pa nakalabas pa si booby kanina dahil sa isang ASSHOLE dito!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hay nako nanggagalaiti talaga ako ngayon bwiset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAMATAY KA NA TRACEY ATIENZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KAKARAMAHIN KA NG GINAGAWA MO PUTANGINA MONG HAYOP KA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dagnammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my dog got into another accident last night (most probably)... it's my fault, i didn't let him in before i left and when i was getting ready to leave, he was already fighting with the ugly dog... sobrang totoo na kanina kse masama na kutob ko, so totoo nga that when you form a bond with your pet, kung ano mangyari, nafi-feel mo talaga... kakaawa nga eh. ung fron left leg naman nya ngayon napahamak, but not that bad like the last one... asked the vet (na sobrang suki ko na!) to come here ulit... just waiting...

good calls so far, perfect first 15 ko... kailangan ko lang ayusin ung next week... siiiiiiiiigghhh....

bryan greenburg!!!

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!! may movie sya!!!!!!!!! it's called prime and i love the trailer!!!!!!!

high spirits

OTH soundtrack (again!)

5:45am - was interviewed for the RTA position for msn... interesting interview... they asked the basic and not-so-basic questions... i was nervous out of my mind!!!!!! i was literally shaking in my boots! AS IN!!!! i thought kse wala nang interview, i was originally scheduled for a 10.30pm one pero wala naman... so when tin gave me the piece of paper that said log out at 5.45-6 and look for paulo rta, sobrang natakot na ko! but they (interviewers) were niceÜ

start of the day was pretty bad for me. bad trip ung papunta and mga first few calls ko, so good luck kung na-q.a. ako kanina! fuck.

i have this HUGE secret that i CANNOT write here, it's too big. i have to keep it to myself... it's so juicy!!!! ;)

i went for a walk with my dog with the intention of also getting his nametag/dogtag(?) from dog city, but on the way there, we encountered 3 fucking dogs!!!!!! they ganged up on my doggie so booby just ran all the way home, he was too scared =( now he's kinda mad at me (i can understand) coz i think he blames me for bringing him there. malay ko ba na 3 aso don! fuck! never again. punyetang mga aso yon!

naiinis pa ko kse ung inorderan ko ng propolis creme for abby hindi nagttxt back kung nakabili na, para di na ko umasa, para ako na lang bili... fuck talaga. guys, if you're asked a question, please naman reply naman kayo, kahit ba negative pa sagot nyo, basta ba may reply lang. kung walang load, makitxt! what's the problem with that??? gosh!

i miss my friends...

bwisit! pangit ng ACHT ko! fuck.

:) it's OTH's finale tonight!!!! yahooooooooo!!!!!!! but i know what's gonna happen, so i can't wait for the 3rd season already! shet! super bitin itong finale nila! the 3rd season starts in october in the states, so kelan pa kaya un dito??? waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!

ok. i'm gonna watch oprah now. later.

chocolate everywhere!!!!

OTH soundtrack!!!!! Ü

whattaday! i didn't get to sleep until 7pm and i just woke up now... saw one of the best movies this year, charlie and the chocolate factoryÜ

but i got to hang out with a really good friend, sarah, today. we heard mass first then went off to the mall to eat, hang out and watch the movie... she is so fucking thin, that girl! grabe! as in payat! sabi ko nga para syang drug addict sa kapayatan nya! ...got to see her sis also, raya, who told me so many things about a really good companyÜ

but i was really happy coz i got to buy the one tree hill soundtrack!!!! sigh!!!!!!!! i love the songs so much i downloaded them then erased them now because i have them in an original cd... i have a thing about piracy: i hate it. i'm not a hypocrite, i downloaded them because i just really loved the songs so much. this is a highly recommended cd, for those of you who're into compilations and soundtracks. five stars!

ok. and now onto the movie... johnny depp is, like kiefer sutherland, one of the best in his generation... my three faves? him, kiefer and sean penn. they all started pretty much almost the same time, give or take a few years... but now looking back at their movie/tv choices, they all prove they're so prolific and great actors... ok. enuff. basically, since i'd seen the trailer a dozen times and have visited every site there is about this friggin' great movie, i came prepared and knew of the "secrets" (courtesy of imdb.com) and trivia... and i enjoyed it even more! tim burton is such a magnificent creator/imaginator (is there such a word?) the set just blew me away! the most telling thing is that it was such a colorful movie; and if you're a burton fan you'd understand what i'm talking about. all burton movies have a dark, sinister tone to it. this one's no different (in my opinion), but it was masked by all this color, which was just genius... to add a little history as to why and how will wonka is the way he is was great, too. helped get a different perspective to it.

my new favorite actor? freddie highmore just stole my heart! i can't say enough good things about him, he so dagnamit cute!!!! shit! his eyes just got me and he perfected that i'm-such-a-poor-boy-you-can't-help-but-love-me look. he is so adorable and kudos to johnny depp for suggesting to burton to get highmore in. when johnny depp is the one who recommends to the director you're good enough for the job because he was impressed in a previous movie collaboration, that speaks volumes. and highmore did not disappoint, i actually got emotional during the first few scenes before he got the ****** ******

the humor was subtle, yet incredibly funny; wonderfully delivered/executed. the oompa loompas were scene-stealers... fave scenes? every wonka bit --- i mean, johnny depp was just absolutely the embodiment of all the things he was inspired with about that role... he had that funny, dark, creepy, weird, o.c., sad, can't-put-my-finger, cute (he IS johnny depp!) thing going on. that haircut is so horrible, but it worked! i loved the blueberry song. fun-ny!

i so would love to get my hands on the white/red goggles/shades they wore in the tv scene! i love that!!!!!

and now to go on a mini-review about the latest addition to my cd collection... one tree hill's creator mark schwahn summed it up when he wrote in the cd jacket: "the song (lie in the sound) is epic. heartbreaking. but at the same time comforting." that's what the entire cd is. if you're a HUGE oth fan (i mean, completely OBSESSED with it), this cd is a must-have. all of the songs remind oyou of good and bad times in the show, and as an added bonus, you get a whole new music perspective. the bands are awesome and really good. faves? almost everything, that's why it's such a keeper! the theme of course is so unforgettable, it's what gavin degraw a star in the u.s.; song #2 is one of my faves, see previous blogs... getting michelle branch and jessica harp together was "the good kind" ;) one of the defining moments of the show was an episode called "with arms outstretched" and re-offender was featured in that episode as well as the continuing one... a haunting song. travis is fucking amazing!

i am a HUGE, HUGE naley fan, but i have to admit that the tyler hilton/bethany joy lenz remake of when the stars go blue is one of the best ones in the cd... bethany has such a cool, smooth voice, paired up with tyler's raspy one. an already great song made even betterÜ keane's everybody's changing is one of those poignant ones that you can't get out of your head when you hear it once. the lyrics are great... all of the songs' are. i just remember the scene when brooke was putting up pictures of everyone on her mirror/dresser and this song was playing...

mixtape, sidewalks, overdue and funny little feeling were surprises... they were familiar songs, but the titles sidetracked me. every single one totally reminds me of a scene/moment in the show, if not the show in general.

lie in the sound is the perfect way to end the cd. it's the song heard when naley get into the apartment after they get married for their really sweet honeymoon. all in all, the tracks chosen were all perfect. kudos to the producers and the guys who (i can tell) had a difficult undertaking of chosing just 14 songs to put in here. please. take a cue from that other show (the o.c.) and make more soundtracks!!!Ü people have to be familiarized with artists like citizen cope, switchfoot, ryan adams, pete yorn, yellowcard, velvet revolver, dashboard confessional, matthew ryan, michelle featherstone, eastmountainsouth, howie day... and they deserve the attentionÜ

this was an awesome day... now i have to let my doggie back in the house before whatever happens to him. ciao!

blah week

the scientist - coldplay

another uneventful day at home and at work... but i'm getting closer and closer to my ultimate goal, which is to leave this friggin' hellhole and be with my brother and other family in the u.s./canada... whatever it takes.

i was supposed to go out tonight with a friend to watch charlie and the chocolate factory, alas, he's not replying to my text messages... whatever.

everyday's been gloomy, both for me and the weather; i love rainy dayz, but it's bad for my dog, coz he can't go out, the poor guy =( he's stuck here when it's raining... i just let him out to pee... he hasn't taken a bath yet even... i can imagine he's bored and lonely... when i get outta here, i'm gonna bring him along.

like i said, an uneventful week and day off, so i've really got nothing to say... ciao.

everybody's changing... and moving on?

everybody's changing - keane

just got back from napoli's from the twins' birthday celebration. i left 6pm... why did i get back so quickly? i didn't want to, but my best friend had to leave so for her not to feel left out, i left also. besides, it was raining cats and dogs... there's gonna be a storm...

silence is easy - starsailor

i was so excited to go because i'd be seeing old friends again after such a long time. surprise? aimee's back and i never even knew about it. apparently, her homecoming was a "secret". whatever that means. i feel as though she's changed. and not just now. last year, at her bon voyage, she was kinda distant. i dunno. i guess it's lack of constant communication that's why she's not as warm anymore? i'm going nuts. i know.

the good kind - the wreckers (one of my favesÜ)

i was thinking of going to work for an OT, but thought better of it. i'll be working straight through from tomorrow til wed anyway, so why slave over it? that's just the way my twisted mind works, i guess.

it's so nice to know that ruthie and i have the same plans for next year. baka fatima na rin ako. but i have yet to inquire with trinity about their nursing course... ho (ho, ho) well!

just lose it - eminem

it was so nice to see the francis and anthony again... gj and mikko were there too... and cecil tabunda was there too, with her boyfriend... francis' gf aiko was there too. super nice nya grabe! they deserve each otherÜ she's also taking up medicine at feu nova and i asked about nursing sabi nya dapat daw pala straight from h.s. ung magn-nursing... =(

things to do:
1. get a haircut
2. buy freakin' cds
3. get plenty of rest
4. stop making fucking side comments
... so far, not bad

blah... trankaso

wed was such a bad day for me. fuck! tues night i was working right? i was feeling bad already before i started because i was having this unbelievably severe body pain. i'm not exaggerating! as in parang namamanas ka na naipit lahat ng muscles mo. so the whole time i was working, i kept stretching, yawning, shivering because the cold was just too much. i ended up taking alaxan just to get through the day... even contemplated getting an etime again, but thought better of it. wala na nga me sweldo, ano pa kaya matitira next wek? good luck na lang.

***what do i hate? rats! specifically, got-nothing-better-to-do rats***

memories of naley... playing in the background "dare you to move"

so when i got home wed morning, after i checked the emails, i felt the body ache coming on big time so i had tata buy advil and i just slept right off. as in, no more tv, i dozed off and woke up in a sweat... but i think the advil had a side effect coz my eyes ballooned up like fucking blimps... i still felt really awful, dizzy... reported absent for work. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! good luck tlga sa sweldo.

but tomorrow, i'm a happy girl... i get to see my long-time friends because the twins invited us to a birthday celebration at napoli's... gosh i miss those guys!

farah fooh got terminated. sucks big time! wala na ko ka-chikahan... sya lang naman link namin to the "intriga" world... hehe! ...i learned so much from her... and it's not just the rumor mill k? she gave me another perspective to stuff. farah lee, thank you. i'll miss you. you're a great friend and an even better mom. good luck! God bless!

cue pete francis "untold" love this fucking song!

what am i doing right now? shit. nothing. i thought that 24 was on based on skycable's schedule channel, but apparently, it's not. instead it's the lost show.... i hate that show.

seriously thinking of enrolling in trinity college. if by some miracle i pass the entrance exams or whatnot... still have to call up to inquire. i knew a girl once who worked with me at ibm who studied there... have to look her up in friendsterÜ

soak up the sun - sheryl crow (nice!)

this is how a heart breaks - rob thomas (this song is fucking crazy! you should hear it live)

the songs are the ones worth mentioning playing on my internet radio... shout out to hitsradio.com

anyway, i'm just trying to disassemble my brain so that i would know what to fucking do with my life... never thought "figuring out" things takes a long time! shit. hopefully all bodes well.. i've been having dreams of what my brother wrote in an email: You have your OWN HOME....and I'm not just talking> about a small bungalow....I'm talking about a> 3-bedroom, 2 bath, centralized, 3 car garage MANSION> where you can do whatever you want and no one can> fuck with you...not even Hitler. Mercedez, BMW in> the garage....all the $ in the bank.....maybe retire> early and spend the rest of your life on the beach> somewhere. Now is that something worth sacrificing 4> yrs of schoolwork over? I think so.

i have just been daydreaming about having a house in canada with my dog and my own car/s Ü i just can't wait to live there and LIVE ON MY OWN. whatever it takes. shit. basta makaalis lang ako with my dog.

my fave song at the moment

http://www.microsoft.com/Windows/Downloads/Contents/Products/MediaPlayer/">
music video code by urbnmix.net
dandy warhols - we used to be friends

hmph... stop complaining bitch!

***my dog's sick. again. =( =( =( he got an infection from fighting with the other dogs in the neighborhood... it's kinda disappointing just coz i feel like my money's going to vet checkups and food and stuff. i mean, i was really looking forward to watching "the island" with a friend and i had to stay home to take care of my doggie... i don't want to complain, but i can't help it. yes, i'm selfish that way... but if you guys only knew what i go through everyday, you'd understand... it's not just my professional life, it's the personal and everything else... i feel like i'm tired all the time, even when i got a good night's rest. i constantly worry about things and my mind is like mush now from all the worrying and thinking i've been doing...

i'm careful of not putting ALL my thoughts into this thing, but sometimes i get tires of writing in my journal, and typing's faster!

...my dog's begging to be let out... but i know i can't under the vet's orders. his infection might worsen...

i have one more day left to "rest"... monday i go back to work... oh happy day.

nazi bitch

FUCK YOU, CITA BORROMEO GARCIA. KAKARMAHIN KA SA LAHAT NG MGA GINAWA MO, PUTANGINA MO!

life sucks. deal with it

maybe i forgot to include in my profile that i absolutely HATE mundane things and doing habitual, routinary stuff. there. i said it. actually, wrote it. but fuck! does this life suck or what? at least, mine does. i'm so jealous of my friends who're abroad, having the time of their lives. and i'm going out of my mind out here, trying to live on a (supposedly) call center salary (but honestly, wage workers, baka mas malaki pa kinikita nyo saken) supporting myself, some bills at the house and my dog. taking care of a dog is a huge thing, taking care of any animal is. when they get sick, you have to bring them to the vet and pray for the best; you have to bathe, feed them, make sure they have enough food and water to last them the few hrs you're not at home because the people in the house are just not animal lovers... and you can't even buy the things you WANT. just the stuff you NEED. oh! believe me. there's a giganormous difference between the two and don't even get me started on that! in the end, sometimes i just ask why am i even here??? it's all so dramatic, but i'm at that point right now, k? so stop bitchin'. let ME do that.

i'm just so fuckin' fed up with things that have been happening and i feel like i can't vent it fast enough! there're just too many thoughts inside my head right now that are bursting to be heard... or, in this case, written and read.

i never thought life would be this freakin' bad, ya know? it's just all too much to process, sometimes i just don't want to care anymore. but i'm human, so damn me to hell bcoz i can't help but friggin' care! i used to be such an optimist, but lately, i've just been so full of shitless thoughts, i'm spouting off curse words every second. even i'm dispppointed. i didn't have this kind of attitude before, dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! another question: how in da hell did that happen?