young victoria

i initially didn't want to watch this because i thought this would be another boring old period film. proved me wrong because although it was about a piece of english monarchy history, the way it was edited/directed wasn't so boring at all! i wish ALL period films are done the same way.

i had already seen the devil wears prada and a knight's tale so i knew who emily blunt and paul bettany were. i didn't know the guy who played prince albert was though so i was curious. high praises are in order for her majesty, emily blunt. it's a tour-de-force performance and she deserved a golden globe/oscar for it. she portrayed the role with such tenacity and complexity but it was difficult not to fully empathize and sympathize with her (victoria's) plight. based on what i found out from the movie, victoria was a descendant of kings george and william. before she was 18 and old enough to be a queen, her mother and sir john conroy was trying to force her to sign papers that would turn over power to them but in her sickbed she refused.

she ended up corresponding and meeting prince albert of saxe-coburg and eventually they fall in love.

there are several notable scenes/moments in the movie i adore, one of which was victoria's proposal to albert. the way that it was executed was so cute and sweet and very emotional. you can't help but fall in love with them.

another was between victoria, john conroy and victoria's mom - victoria maria louisa of saxe-coburg. it was so powerful and i really loved emily's line delivery at the end. john was manhandling victoria because he wants her to give over power to him and be her executor for everything since she was too young to be queen because king william had volunteered at that time to give her extra allowance. victoria's line was:

Princess Victoria: [to her mother]

Oh, and if you think that I will ever forget that you stood by silent and watched him treat me thus, you are dreaming!

then there was the assassination and prince albert taking a bullet for queen victoria and how victoria professes her undying love for him and him for her and they live happily ever after. a true fairytale and it was so satisfying to watch!

business is business apparently

so i work for this company that prides itself on being the awesomest place to work at anywhere in the world, right? and yet the longer i'm here, the more suffocated i feel. i know sometimes airing out emotions online are not ideal, but i've got nowhere to go. besides friends and family, there's the internet so let's use it since it's at our disposal anyways. here goes...

my boss recently commented on a post i made on facebook:

aren't you even going to ask our OPINION on the matter? can't take a suggestion, i guess. dictatorship at it's best.

she commented the following:

Business is never a democracy. Rules were made by government for businesses to follow. They weren't asked for their opinion either. =)

then i said:

i respect business decisions boss. i can't seem to swallow it right now... maybe if i get the hang of it after some time. =) will stay optimistic!

to which she commented:

Great to know you will try to stay optimistic. =) We can surely talk about it some more when I see you. Maybe some clarification would help. =) Kaya mo yan!!

i was supposed to reply something along the lines of "i just thought we had a say on the matter" but deleted it and changed the reply to something more respectful and cordial to appease her. it's still a public site and i was actually embarrassed when i saw her comment on my rant. i can't help but feel like i was unfairly taken advantage of because i worked my butt off each and every day i've been at work and then they take away the one thing that we, i, have the most tangible piece of insurance: bonuses. i guess it wasn't really to take it away but a business decision recently made affects everyone so negatively that i can't help but be emotional about it. suddenly there's no guarantee anymore.

uncertainty never sat well with me. i hate it. it's up there with regret and guilt.

granted that i still have a couple of weeks to adjust to the idea of this new and improved system, i still feel like puking. it left such a sour taste in my mouth that i may not be able to focus as much as i have been doing lately.

we all have goals and dreams and plans. this? this was not part of my plan. and i HATE adjusting! i've had enough of it already from my last workplace. i adjusted and it got me nowhere because the politicking was so under the table and so evil already that i was surprised i still had some integrity when i left. i just can't shake the feeling that this is not gonna end well.

what pisses me off too is that she (my boss) said business was never a democracy. ha! the fact that it was even created proves that it was born out of democratic thoughts and ideas. yeah, but i do know what she was talking about so yeah she still has a point. i'm just stubborn. and i like that.

anyway, i'll probably not think about it in the long run not until someone brings it up again or maybe when i'm already doing it. but in the meantime, let me wile away on my sites and watch my show/s...

he's just too adorable, i could die!

the good ol' days

i'm writing this 3/15/2011 and i've got a BAZILLION of things on my mind... where to find money to pay off loans, what to do about my scorecard, how i'm gonna survive this next 2 weeks, the end of one of my favorite shows, the laundry, money, money, money... then there's the tsunami.

first things first, i guess. i have some priority issues and i wanna address them here. just to get my mind off of things. sometimes it helps to let it out... just not sure if i should let it out in the internet. but here goes...

i was a child who was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. i miss those days. who wouldn't? i'm the youngest of 3 and was always the last to find out about things. growing up in a private subdivision where there were guards ready and willing to serve, maids at our beck and call, drivers at our disposal and cash to burn - i was living the high life. i was 5. for the past couple of months - maybe even years - i've been reminiscing about my days in that house i grew up in. it was huge! 7 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a huge parlor, a backyard that once had a pool, 2 garages, a sprawling frontyard and our green mango/indian mango tree.

i was lucky. i went to a private school that was accessible since our village was right beside it and i was never late nor absent. we would go on trips to the U.S. and out of town for the summer. my cousin also mentioned once (when i was older) that my parents would change cars like they changed clothes. wow. i didn't really notice because i was young, but come to think of it, yeah, we did have new cars every year!

when i think about it now, i get teary-eyed. how we lost everything so fast, i may never know the full details. all i was told was my mom got swindled out of money she had come across and the next thing i knew, we were moving out of my childhood home and in to a 2 bedroom apartment that was 1/8 of the size of my former abode. it was a joke. being the positive thinker that i was, i tried to tell my parents that i loved it there. looking back now, i realize that i lied. it was horrible living there. i felt suffocated, confined and trapped. yes, i had a good friend living nearby and we hung out a lot, but i was always jealous of how much bigger their condo was compared to ours. it was a nightmare.

and now that i'm turning 29 in a few weeks, i can't help but think and wish for those years back. i wish i could have seen the future and was a given a chance to change my present so that i would have a better life now. if i had a delorian and could travel back in time, i'd warn my past self about today and what i'm feeling and make her DO SOMETHING TO STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING.

at 29 i am broke. i've no money to show for myself and i am still living with my parents. in a country like ours, that's acceptable and is thought nothing of. i work my ass off everyday, but daily needs and some advanced purchases i've made would end up eating away at my hard-earned pay and i am soon left with almost nothing to make it through until the next payday. i'm literally living paycheck to paycheck. and yet i'm content. strangely enough, knowing what i've lost i am still proud to say i'm content. i think of people who have nothing and i am humbled. at least i have this netbook i'm typing and surfing the internet with - my connection to the world. at least i have a job. at least my parents are still here. at least i'm still alive.

the expression "you don't know what you've got til it's gone" sums up my life. i just am now realizing it. i live that quote. i am that saying. and i want it to change.

there's this podcast i listen to from time to time that was created because of a fictional character was too inspiring for tv that she had to have her thoughts recorded and aired on itunes. peyton sawyer is me. i am peyton sawyer. i'm the chick who loves angry growly rock, is a lyric girl and wants nothing more than to curl up in bed and drink hot chocolate while rain pounds on the roof. at my lowest point she's saved me and i hope to do the same for whoever's reading this now. i wanna tell you that it's all going to be okay. it might not be now, it might not be later, but it WILL BE. trust me. for a girl who lives by quotes and tv shows, movies, music and food, i do know what the hell i'm talking about.

this is the first time i've aired out this stuff and it's making me feel calmer now. i think it's better this way - ranting online and not really sure who's gonna be reeled in to read and ponder about the nonsensical things you've written. i think it's better that way. anonymity is heaven - it's like a huge, fluffy, warm comforter i like to snuggle and get lost in.

so before i lose sleep, i just want to say to me: keep the faith. it's there for you to have.

ciao.

black swan

this movie is definitely memorable because i got sick while watching this... now i'm at home in bed typing away as i wipe my runny nose with tissue and drink water even as my stomach revolts. some people enjoy being in bed and being sick. i don't.

back to the task at hand. i had heard about black swan last year because i heard it was a movie about ballet. note: i am a huge ballet fan - i studied ballet as a child and am familiar with terminology so i don't really get lost with ballet jargon when i hear them =) also, i love french - but i digress. the last ballet movie i'd seen (and loved) was titled centerstage starring a then-unknown zoe saldana (avatar). it was a quirky, cutesy teenage poppy film about how it's like auditioning for a slot in a ballet company and what they go through in order to get there (training, technique and such). black swan turned ballet on its head and sat on it. this is NOT your mother's ballet.

the movie actually jars you mentally and visually as it starts off with a shaky camera (my friend complained all the way through the movie that she was getting dizzy because of the camera movement) and natalie as nina sayers performing some ballet warm ups in front of a full-length mirror as she prepares for rehearsal.

on hindsight, now that i think about it, aronofsky did everything on purpose: the camera movement was done so because there were some pretty cool visual effects that worked well with it. i particularly loved the subtle vfx: natalie's skin would take on a scale-like texture in some scenes (you really have to look very closely or at least be very observant) and the very clever use of mirrors.

performance-wise, natalie really owned this. she deserves all the accollades and awards and very warm compliment from david letterman about her acting after he'd seen the movie. she does deserve the oscar. the subtle facial and attitude changes switching from nina to the black swan was so uncanny and only she could've pulled it off. great thing about this also is that all the actors embodied their characters. i wouldn't say that mila kunis would be right as nina because she was perfect as lily. great casting, by the way =) portman and kunis looked a lot like each other enough to confuse the two of them ;)

the mother was frickin crazy and i loved it. the name of the actress escapes me right now and i'm too lazy to check imdb for it but she was awesome. she reminded me of the mother in psycho. *chills*

the french actor - whom i recall i'd seen in ocean's 12 (or was it 13?) as the thief who slipped and slid through the floors of some museum - was really scary and gross and horny as the instructor who feels up natalie and gets to make out with both her and mila. his role was really vital in the movie n- i just realized that because without his pushing and prodding, black swan would've never come out.

as like any other "out there" movie, prior to seeing it, i was discouraged from watching because it was confusing and boring according to some people. well, i guess i send off a vibe that i'm stupid or something because they apparently haven't seen my dvd collection yet. i loved the film for taking risks and for them to have paid off bigtime. aronofsky deserves a lot of the credit too. he stayed with his vision and in the process came up with a brilliantly-directed picture that everyone, regardless if they like ballet or not, should see.

be prepared to be pleasantly surprised by both kunis and portman as they are actresses who have had the squeaky-clean images back in the late 90s and have both been slowly veering away from said reputation. look out for a really steamy scene between the two after they get stone ass drunk. that really made my jaw drop. overall, it's a 10 for me =)

127 hours

i always do my homework when watching a movie: i read about it, i check youtube and interviews with the actors, etc. one thing i found out about 127 hours was that it was based from a book which was written by aron ralston - the actual guy who fell into a crevice in the grand canyon and was stuck there yes, for 127 hours.

what made me watch the film was curiosity of how he actually got out - his hand was pinned between a huge boulder and a wall. i did later find out that he eventually cut himself, or rather his ARM to get free. watching the movie kinda was like watching twilight for me. i knew what was going to happen, i just didn't know how it would look on screen because i had imagined it differently. but i wasn't able to read the book, so i had no idea how this story turned out.

i have to say, i liked the parts where he was talking to the digicam and just being spontaneous about the whole thing. he'd be teary-eyed through the whole thing and that's what got to me. he would also address his parents - based on flashbacks, he had broken up with a girlfriend. the hardest thing to watch was obviously the amputation part. danny boyle really showed everything. and it. was. fucking. gross.

another pro? amber tamblyn. she's one of my favorite actresses and one of the most underrated ones out there. for those of you who don't know her, shame on you! she was joan in joan of arcadia, she was one of the girls in sisterhood of the traveling pants and she's been on house, general hospital and buffy, to name a few. the role in this movie had screen time of maybe 15-20 minutes only, but she was still at her top form. good casting, there. awesome!

as for james franco's tour de force performance, it was exactly that. i was so impressed! it was essentially HIS movie to carry and he did it so well. there was no question that he WOULD get nominations/awards for this, by far, his best performance in any movie - besides milk (where he was just perfection, BTW).

this redefines definition - of life, of love and of humanity. it shows the best and worst of man but also lets you down a path of discovery ~ discovery of your own strength and perseverance as a human being and what would you do if put in dire circumstances. if you like that shit - man triumphs over adversity - watch this movie. if you don't, then hey, it's one less story you have to tell, right?

the social network

bought the dvd yesterday and wasn't able to watch it the day it came out because some idiot told me not to. sidebar: DON'T LISTEN TO ANYBODY ELSE IF YOU WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE. lesson learned for me.

anyway, going in to it, i had already been forewarned by interviews from the cast members i'd seen on youtube that the movie is fast-paced. based on the dialogue at the beginning of the film, i think they were referring to jesse eisenberg's speech mannerism - which i find very adorable indeed! =) he's the best part of the movie and it was great casting all around. andrew garfield was amazing. i totally felt for him. i even gasped when the lawyer was going down the list of people whose shares were not touched apart from andrew's character's. poor boy.

biggest surprise was justin timberlake's performance. i have to say, even though i'm a huge fan of his, i never thought he'd be able to pull off a performance like that! he was AWESOME! but back to eisenberg...

BTW, adrienne palicki just got cast as wonder woman today ;)

OK, going back to the topic at hand, i dunno why but jesse just snuck up on me. i didn't know who he was - aside from the fact that he reminded me so much of michael cera (who i love too!), but other than that, i had no idea who this guy was! then i heard him talk and actually listened to what he was saying and BAM! right there. on conan o'brien's and dave letterman's shows, he nailed me. FIGURATIVELY.

eisenberg has a way of charming the panties off you because he's NOT TRYING TOO HARD TO BE CHARMING AT ALL. it's natural. it's simple. it's adorable. and i think that that was what captivated audiences while watching him in this movie. he wasn't TRYING to be mark zuckerberg, he WAS his OWN zuckerberg. yes, they kinda looked alike; yes, he exuded that smaart-ass, condescending attitude which is not the right appropo for whatever kind of environment, but whatever. he was fabulous and that's what made the movie.

if you think about it, the movie itself wasn't highly advertised - zuckerberg himself said he wouldn't watch it but then a few weeks later gave in and had a private viewing for his employees at no less than the facebook offices in california. the point is, something so small and simple but vibrant of a movie as this deserved and deserves all the accolades and awards it's getting: from best picture to best screenplay to sexiest geeks ;)

last thing i'll say about the movie was the captain of the ship: david fincher. i didn't realize that i'd already seen 5 of his films (yes, i looked at imdb - sue me!): curious case of benjamin button, zodiac, se7en, panic room and this - the social network. if you are like me and you've also seen these movies, you'd know what i mean when i say that fincher doesn't mess around. he's gritty. he's straight-forward and he's unbiased. i love the color, texture and overall look of his movies. it's dark and mellow-looking. i can't quite put my finger on it. but if you've seen 1 or 2 of his movies, you'd know what i'm talking about. so kudos to fincher and the cast for their brilliant film and i hope i see more films like these in the future =) cheers!

my superman

do you remember septermber?

time to reflect on what september was for me in 2010...

i know what i'm thankful for everyday from january to september of this year and i've kept them all in a journal - a thank you journal. i try to think of the best parts of my day and put them on a list and just reflect on what happened that day: who made me happy, who made me smile, what/who got me to and from work. they've always said that it's the little things that matter. they, whoever those people are, were right.

i hate to think that i've been living a mundane existence up to this point and that i've been missing out on some things. i got so jealous when i found out my cousin was going to europe. wow. something i've been dreaming about for so long and now it's happened... to her. huh.

i loved the fact that i've seen friends and caught up: kat, paula, char, liz... i hadn't seen them in months, char for several years! but it was great to have bonding time with your girls. good times.

last talk that i had with my boss she said i was losing momentum and i told her that i've just been in a rut. good thing she pulled me back in and now i have a new determination to be the best this month, this year =) that's the thing with me, i kinda would lose focus sometimes, who doesn't? but i'd like to think that when i'm back, i'm definitely back =) here we go, october!!!!

this has been an awesome year so far and i'll always be thankful to God for everyday that He gives me. He's pretty amazing that way.

He brought me to you

[Christian]
In search of my life and my one true love
I prayed to Almighty God above
And His masterful voice directed me

To the many things I was destined to do

So I sailed across the mighty sea
Pursued knowledge of the highest degree

Took to learning new skills
Experienced new thrills
Felt my life was completely fulfilled

#2
[Christian]
At the end of my amazing quest
After proving myself
By achieving success
I hoped to find the prize so rare
A priceless treasure beyond compare

For God promised He would bring me love

A love without measure, trusting and true

And behold, my dear Sapphire
He brought me to you
He brought me to you

#3
[Sapphire]
In search of my life and my one true love

I prayed to Almighty God above
And His compassionate voice directed me
To the many things I was destined to do

And in my private reverie
I read of lands across the sea
I imagined enchanting hollow and hill
Worlds beyond my window sill

#4
[Sapphire]
And through all of these my fancied quests
I cherish the secrets held close to my breast
I hoped to find the prize so rare
A priceless treasure beyond compare

For God promised He would bring me love
A love without measure, precious and true
And behold, my dear Christian

[C] And behold, my dear Sapphire
[Both]
He brought me to you
He brought me to you

#5
[Both]
My heart knew this without a doubt
That's what destiny's all about
[Christian]
God promised He would bring me love
[Sapphire]
A love strong and true
[Christian]
A promise He fulfilled above
He brought me to you
[Sapphire]
He brought me you

from donnie wahlberg

TODAY... Go hard! Go strong! Never stop! Never settle! Keep working! Keep moving! Don't quit! Don't surrender! You are unstoppable!

what everybody should do =)

got this from an email sent by a good friend:

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

are you creative?

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna

great photography, love the look.. my own POV? i think they cast megan fox bec you wouldn't expect a tough chick like her to get beaten up; and dominic is this likeable, sweet guy that you wouldn't expect HIM to be the abuser. it works perfectly. i like that they're playing on the irony of the situation and that it's a powerful enough song to listen to without the video... but the video takes it to a whole other level. i hope it doesn't get lost in translation.

an eminem masterpiece

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his back
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

this is your life - switchfoot

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
Yeah, and today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life are you who you want to be
This is your life are you who you want to be

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

And you had everything to lose

let me go - 3 doors down

One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

[Chorus]
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

[Chorus]
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just Let me go...
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I knowww..
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows

[Chorus]
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go

And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know who I am
And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know me

one more day - vast

this was played in season 7 of smallville, veritas. the song is even more powerful and really kicks you in the gut once you see the episode. it plays at the very end and was so perfectly complemented the scene between the two leads. it was awesome ♥

Have you heard
Have you tried to understand
It's all right
It gets easier with time

How are you
Are you ever coming back
I have changed
And I've realized I was wrong

I was wrong
Now I'll never see your face anymore
Oh my Love
I'd give anything for one more day with you

I'm getting through
I wish you felt the way I do
I have changed
And I've realized I was wrong

I was wrong
Now I'll never see your face anymore
Oh my love
I'd give anything for one more day with you

I was wrong
I was wrong
Now I'll never see your face anymore
Oh my love
I'd do anything for one more day with you

I'd do anything for one more day with you
I'd give anything for one more day with you

haunting smallville song: pioneer to the falls by interpol

I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS SONG!


Show me the dirt pile
And I will pray that the soul can take
Three stowaways
Vanish with no guile
And I will not pay
But the soul can wait
The soul can wait

It's still pretty
What with all these weeks
We’ll be fine
We’ll be fine

But if it’s still pretty
What with all these weeks
Will we find love
And supervise

Show me the dirt pile
And I will pray that the soul can take
Three stowaways
And you vanish with no guile
And I will not pay
But the soul can wait
I felt you so much today

Oh no, you try
You fly straight into my heart
You fly straight into my heart
Girl, I know you try
You fly straight into my heart
You fly straight into my heart
But here comes the fall...

So much for me believing that sorrow
So much for dreams we see but never care to know
Your heart makes me feel
Your heart makes me moan
For always and ever, I'll never let go
Always concealed
Safe and inside, alive!

Show me the dirt pile
And I will pray that the soul can take
Three stowaways
In a passion it broke
I pull the black from the grey
But the soul can wait
I felt you so much today...

dear love...

i write to you now, remembering what it was like when we were together and what i would have given to keep those moments alive. the pain of losing you, of knowing you're in the arms of another will forever haunt me until my dying day.

the days we spent laughing, looking with and at each other will be relived everyday - in my subconsciousness and in daydreaming. the last embrace is cherished. the first kiss was unbelievable. how i ache. how i wish. how i wonder.